Tainted memories
by Morohtar13
Summary: This is kind of a background story on an OC of mine. A story of a male diclonius trying to survive. RxR plz. M for excessive gore, violence, and some language.
1. Regret

Prologue

"This may be the only chance I have to tell you my story." I said as the blood continued to flow from my arm.

She looked up at me with those eyes. God! How I loved her eyes! So innocent and loving. They were a pale light blue and I'd gaze into them and lose myself. Even now…with a .50 bullet in my arm and the rain pouring down around the makeshift shelter we had created, I found myself wandering through her soul.

She brought a hand to her mouth and coughed. "What's wrong Donovan? Please tell me about your past."

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "You're right Kira."

* * *

Chapter 1: Regret

I had always known that I was different, but it wasn't till one day, in September, that I realized how different I really was. I was born with horns growing out of my skull and I always tried to hide them because they scared people. Unfortunately, a few kids knew about them and they teased me daily.

"Hey freak! What're you doing over here by yourself?" a boy asked as he walked towards me.

His name was Jeremy and he was the biggest jerk around. He was a little taller than me, about 5'6", and he had short blonde hair with a flat pudgy face.

I had been sitting by a tree by myself eating my lunch, when he and a few friends came over to bother me for the millionth time today. Jeremy stood in front of me and snatched my lunch.

"Why would a freak like you need to eat human food?" he sneered to his buddies.

I didn't know their names but I had already given them labels. One was tall and lanky with shoulder length brown hair. He wore glasses and had an extremely long neck. I had labeled him Neck because of this. The other was short and round with short red hair and an acne covered dog-like face. I called him Bulldog.

I stood up to take my lunch back, but Jeremy kicked me in the chest and I fell onto my back, eliciting more laughs from Neck and Bulldog.

As I hit the ground, a small wooden box flew out of my backpack. It clattered to the ground and opened. I gasped as the melodic tune of Lilium filled the air. Jeremy dropped my lunch and picked it up.

"What's this freak?" he asked, waving the music box in the air.

"Give that back!" I snarled as I began to stand up.

I never made it to my feet, however, because Bulldog punched me square in the face. I met the ground again with a thud and Neck stood on my arms so I couldn't get up. I snarled at Jeremy.

"Give it back now! My mother gave that to me!" I yelled angrily.

"You mean the one you killed?" he asked sadistically.

It was true, when I was young I discovered that I had four extra "arms" that were inside my back. They weren't visible to me unless I made them come out so I kept them hidden. They were fun for a while and I found that if I vibrated them really fast, I could cut things. So, I trained myself to vibrate them whenever I was startled so I could protect myself.

One day, my mother startled me by touching my shoulder when she walked up behind me. I jumped and my "arms shot out and began vibrating. Unfortunately, for my mother, my "arms" could cut through flesh and bone quite easily. When I turned around, my mother had been split in half and her blood was splattered on the walls.

The cops pinned the murder on my dad, who was an avid alcoholic, and I moved in with my aunt. She never paid attention to me and quite frankly, I didn't mind that. On that day I vowed to never use my arms again.

Jeremy started a rumor that it was me that killed my mom. Given the fact that he knew about my horns and had blabbed to everyone else, the rumor spread quickly and pretty soon, everyone believed it. It made me feel even worse knowing that it was true.

"I don't think a murdering freak like you deserves something as nice as this." Jeremy taunted, snapping me out of my depressing flash-back.

He raised his arm high and threw the box towards the ground. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as I watched the wooden treasure tumble for what seemed like an eternity in the air. When it hit the ground, it cascaded into millions of pieces. All reason left me then and I lashed my "arms" out at Jeremy in fury. I grabbed him on both of his legs and arms and pulled them off. He screamed in pain as the muscle and sinew tore apart and blood began to flow from the arteries. Neck took a step back and I saw my opening. I dropped one of Jeremy's arms, swung my "arm" at Neck and severed him in two. I used the momentum to behead Bulldog as well.

When Jeremy screamed, people had began rushing over. As the first kid rounded the corner, he froze in terror as Bulldog's headless corpse fell to the ground. I immediately pointed a vector at his throat. When he didn't even look at it i waved it in front of his face and he still didn't react.

_They're invisible, _I thought to myself, _I could kill him and they'd never know it was me."_

When I realized what i had though, I felt sick to my stomach.

**"Why? You just killed three people. What's one more?" **a voice said to me.

"What are you saying? Who are you?" I asked in confusion.

"Don't you know?" I questioned toyingly, "I'm you."

I grabbed my head and screamed. My "arms" began to flail about and the kid, who had begun to scream in fear, was diced up by sushi. Many more people began to run around in terror and they too fell. One of the home economics teachers tried to reach me but, soon, his legs were flying through the air. He began to fall and was cut in half before he hit the ground.

Tears streamed down my face as I sat in the dirt trying to put the pieces of my music box back together. I was completely oblivious to the screams of fear and pain that rang out around me. I just sat there crying over old memories and painful mistakes. Eventually, i calmed down and I realized that I had to run away. I left then, with nothing but what I had with me, which wasn't much. I wandered through the nearby streets trying to find some shelter. I found some in an alley by an old supermarket. There was a discarded cardboard box sitting next to a dumpster that I crawled underneath and fell asleep. When I awoke, I found myself surrounded by men carrying machine guns. I began to sit up and raised my arms in surrender.

"**Why don't you just kill them?" **the voice asked me.

At first, I was repulsed by the idea. I didn't want to become a killer. However, I realized that I was outnumbered and that these men didn't want to capture me. I swallowed hard and slowly let my arms out. I closed my eyes and swung them around at them. One of the men managed to get a shot off and I was sure that I had been shot but when I didn't feel any pain I opened my eyes. The bullet had been deflected by one of my arms and all of the men were dead and their blood stained the brick wall of the supermarket. I stood up and saw even more soldiers running towards the alley. I turned to run but tripped on one of the dead soldier's legs and fell to my face. I scrambled to stand back up but something struck me in the back of the head and everything went black.


	2. The institute

Chapter 2: The Institute

I opened my eyes slowly and groaned as pain began to build in the back of my head. I blinked the fog from my eyes and took in my surroundings. I was in a white tiled room about 20' x 20' with bright spotlights above. I began to move my arms to shield my eyes from the light but found that they were bound with shackles. I moved my legs to see if they were bound too, and was happy to find that they weren't. Then, I realized that I was completely naked.

"Where the heck am I?" I asked in confusion.

"I'm glad you asked my boy!" a gruff voice responded.

I rolled onto my side and saw a man standing in a doorway. He wore a gray business suit that accented his broad shoulders. His face was aging and on it he wore a pair of round glasses. His features were rugged and as he walked over to me, his stride was solid and confident. He eventually arrived at my position and he knelt down.

"I have some big plans for you my little diclonius." He said with a grin.

"What did you call me?" I asked in confusion.

"A diclonius my boy!" he explained, "An evolved being, a mutant if you will."

"So, I'm not human after all?" I asked in despair.

He laughed as if I had told some sort of joke.

"Of course not you idiot!" he chastised, "In fact, you were born to put an end to all of mankind! Besides, have you ever met a human with horns before?"

I stared at the ground in sorrow. _I knew it. _I thought to myself. _I'm nothing but a freak._

He smiled again and ruffled my hair like I was his son and asked me, "What's your name boy?"

"Donovan…Donovan Reyener." I replied half-heartedly.

"Well hello Donovan, you can call me Mr. Kakuzawa or Mr. Director." he said with another smile.

He stood up and waved a woman over. She was a little shorter than me and she wore her blonde hair up in a pony-tail.

"Kisaragi, I don't believe young Donovan has a number yet." He told her.

She studied her clipboard for a moment before replying with, "Hmmm…it looks like number thirteen is not currently being used Mr. Director."

He looked at me once more and said, "Good, from now on you will be referred to as number thirteen." 

I nodded, still confused. He grinned and turned on his heels. As he walked out, he snapped his fingers and the lights went off. I lay on the cold tile ground and fell into a restless sleep.


	3. The Nightmare Begins

Chapter 3: The Nightmare Begins

I don't know when it was that i awoke but I know that it was due to a sharp pain in my side. I curled into a ball and grabbed my ribs.

"Get up you little brat!" a voice commanded.

I opened my eyes just in time to see a boot barreling towards my face. I closed my eyes and felt the steel toe connect with my forehead. I cried out in pain and clutched my now throbbing head.

"C'mon! Get up damnit!" he commanded again.

I stood up slowly, and with some difficulty due to the fact that my hands were still bound. The soldier, I assumed he was when I saw his camouflage pants, pulled me up by the hair and held something cold and metal against the back of my head. When a click I realized it was a gun and I gulped, fighting the urge to turn around and see what kind it was. _Probably an M4A1 or AK-47... _I thought to myself, _Or, if these people are rich, it might be an AN-94._

He shoved me out of the room and into a hall that was wide enough for three people to walk shoulder-to-shoulder. I was scared and didn't know what was happening as I was shoved unceremoniously down a hall. Periodically, we passed a metal door that was labeled with bold red numbers. Eventually, we reached a large door with the words "Testing Area. Authorized Personnel Only" written on it. The man shoved me through the door and I found myself in a room that was identical to the one I was in before, except for the size. This room was white and tiled and was about 60'x90'. On one side of the room, I could see shackles hanging from the wall. On the other end was a large metal cylinder attached to a strange harness that was bolted to the roof, pointed toward the shackles. Behind that, was a large glass window where I could see people wearing lab coats. They stood and watched as I was shoved across the room to the wall with the chains. The man pressed my back against the wall and took of the shackles around my wrists. He then put my hands in the other shackles on the wall. He smiled and ruffled my hair before walking out of the room. A little later he appeared behind the glass and the cylinder began to hum. I was scared and didn't know what was happening.

"10 joules." a voice said over an intercom.

A metal ball shot out of the cylinder and sped towards me. I threw my "arms" in font of my self and the cannonball fell harmlessly to the ground.

"50 joules." the voice over the intercom said again.

The cannon hummed and another cannonball shot out at me, only it was faster this time. I threw my "arms" in front of me again and the projectile landed next to the first.

"What hell is going on!?" I shouted to the people behind the glass.

"100 joules" the voice announced again.

This time, I was ready and already had put my "arms" in front of me. The cannonball was deflected again. This process was repeated several times until they reached 850 joules.

"900 joules." the voice said with a bit of shock in his voice.

I closed my eyes and waited. The cylinder hummed and the cannonball shot forward again. At about 800 joules, the cannonballs had begun to hit me in spite of my "arms." The ball struck me hard in the stomach and I screamed in pain. I thought some of my ribs had broken but I later learned that they were perfectly intact.

The soldier entered the room and removed my shackles. He pushed me into a corner where I was sprayed down with a hose. The water was ice cold and I gasped for breath as it hit me. After they had washed off the blood, I was ushered back to my cell once more. He kicked me into my cell and shut the door with a clang. I lie down on the ground and fell asleep slowly. I curled into a ball to try to keep some warmth, as I never got the chance to dry off and the tile was cold. I shivered and held my stomach in pain.

A few hours later I was awoke by the sound of my door opening. Mr. Kakuzawa walked through the doorway wearing a big smile. He walked over to me calmly and I shot him a glare. _I don't know what's going on, _I thought to myself, _But I'm sure he's the one behind it all._

He gave me a slightly shocked expression before grinning again. Without warning, he kicked me in the stomach. I curled up and bit back a cry. I glared at him again and he shook his head, chuckling.

"Now, now, no need for hostility." he said with a hint of amusement, "So tell me, how did your first test go?"

I glared at him and responded spitefully, "Why the hell should I tell you anything?"

He frowned and kicked me again.

"Because **I **am in charge, and you **will **obey me!!!" he growled between blows.

"If you really **are **in charge you should already know." I hissed.

He smiled, "That's true, and I do already know. I was just hoping to hear what you though of it."

"What do you think?! You shot fucking cannonballs at me!!" I shouted.

"Ah but you see, we wanted to know how much punishment your vectors could take." Kakuzawa explained.

"My what?" I asked in confusion. "What are vectors?"

"You're other arms my boy!" he replied.

_So, _I thought, _They're called vectors huh?_

He smiled again, and pulled out a chart.

"According to our results, your vectors strength is stronger than any we've ever seen. Even stronger than Lucy's vectors." he told me.

"Who's Lucy?" I asked.

"She s reffered to as number nine and is considered the quen bee of all diclonii and silpelits."

"What are silpelits?" I questioned confused.

"Let me explain this to you slowly," he said wit a sigh, "A diclonius is a being that evolved from humans. They exist only to destroy the human race. When a human comes in contact with a diclonius' vectors, they become infected with a gene. This gene is passed on to their chldren, which are called silpelits. These silpelits are born with horns and devolop their vectors the same as diclonii, however, unlike diclonii, silpelits are sterile and cannot give birth. So far as we know, the only existing diclonius with fully matured powers are you and Lucy, and you ae the first male ever."

"I'm the first male diclonius?" I asked a litle amazed.

Kakuzawa shook his head, "No my boy, you're the male diclonius with any devoloped powers. There are also no male silpelits in exsistance."

"Who are the other males then?" I asked him.

He reached up and removed a toupee. Underneath were small horns somewhat similar to mine. However, they were not as devoloped and were the same color as his skin.

"One of them is standing before you now. My son is also a diclonius, but his powers are not devoloped either."

"So I'm the only male with devolped powers?" I asked with a sneer.

He frowned and began to kick me once more. I curled into a ball and waited for it to end. When it did I slowly opened my eyes. He was walking out of the room in a huff and he slammed the door behind him. I smiled and fought back a laugh. I held back my laugh as long as I could but eventually it burst forth. My laughter ended, however, when a felt a sharp pain coarse through my body. I was being eloctocuted and i couldnt tell were it was comng from. When it ended, a voice rang out over an intercom.

"You would do well to learn to respect me boy!" Mr. Kakuzawa's voice spat through the speaker, "What you just felt was our latest invention, it's a small device, called a neuro-optic receptor or NOR, that has been connected to the back of your neck, I'll explain how it works. The NOR has three prongs that are injected into your brain and spinal collum. Each prong will release an electric charge when a certain condition is met. The first prong, reads signals that are produced by your pineal gland in yor brain. Your vectors are controlled by this gland, and it releases a pulse when you bring them out. The NOR recieves these signals and electorcutes you. The reason for this is because you will not be able to use your vectors when you are in pain. The second prong is activated when anyone tries to forcefully remove the NOR wthout it being deactivated. The third prong is remote activated by me when i feel you need to be punished."

I snarled at the voice ad was rewarded with another shock treatment. I bit back a scream and shut my eyes praying for it to end. It seemed to take forever to do so, and when it did, I blacked out.


	4. Inner Sanity

Chapter 4: Inner Sanity

When I awoke I found myself on a cold, metal table with my arms and legs strapped down. My first thought was to free myself with my vectors but then I remembered the NOR Kakuzawa had told me about. I noticed people in smocks were standing around me and then I looked down. What I saw almost made me sick, my stomach was cut open and the sides were being held out by small tweezers. Surprisingly, I felt no pain but i realized that I was probably under massive amounts of pain killers and Novocaine. I struggled to free myself but to no avail, one of the doctors looked at me and laughed. I glared at him, hating the fact that I could do nothing else. Just glare and feel pathetic. Soon, they had stitched my stomach up and I figured they had finished. I was, however, horribly wrong. I was forcibly flipped onto my stomach and grunted from a little pain. It was then that my torture began.

With the pain killers now drained from my body I could feel pain again. I screamed in agony as it coursed through my back just inside of my shoulder blades. It felt like they were trying to shove a metal bar into my back inside small incisions they had made. It seemed like an eternity before the pain ended. When it did I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and the room swirled. Then, my world went dark.

When I awoke hours later, I groaned as I felt pain building up in the back of my head. Then I arched forward as I felt an even greater pain in my back. I roared in agony as it felt like my back were literally being torn in two. I could feel something moving inside my back but the strange thing was that it felt like I was controlling their movements. After a few minutes the pain lessened and I began to experiment, learning how to move whatever it was in my back. After a while I had mastered this and smiled quite content with myself. Suddenly, a loud crash caused me to jump and suddenly excruciating pain ripped through my shoulder blades. I felt my skin being forced apart by whatever was in my back as the shot out wards. I looked back and saw that blood had splattered upon the wall when the foreign objects had broken the surface of my skin. Then, my eyes widened in shock at what I saw. Large wings, with jet black feathers, some covered with my blood, protruded from my back. I took a quick measurement and estimated they were about 8' from tip to tip. I stretched a little moving them, at this point I was oblivious to any pain. Soon however, after the shock had worn away, I doubled over as my back felt like it was being torn apart from all sides.

**"What's the matter?" the voice from before boomed, "Don't like pain?"**

"You again? Who are you? What's your name!?" I bellowed in anger.

**"I told you before foolish boy! I'm you!" **the voice chided, its poison-laced words echoing in my mind.

"I don't believe you!" I screamed, "I'm not a murder like you! I don't want to kill people!"

The voice let out a laugh that boomed inside my head like a wood chipper, **"Oh? And I suppose you didn't kill those children, or that teacher, or those soldiers right? Face it, you've already killed, you're a murderer!"**

"NO! That's no true! I'm not a murderer! I'm not!" I cried, repeating this statement several times, "Tell me, who are you? What's your name?"

The voice let out what seemed to be a sigh. **"Very well, since I obviously won't be able to convince you right now, you can call me Morohtar."**

"Morohtar...' I echoed, "Tell me Morohtar, why are you in my head? Why are you telling me to kill?"

**"You heard the Director, you live to eliminate the human race, and I can help you." **the voice replied.

"How can you help me?" I asked a little curious.

**"Well, I'm your vectors Donovan, and with me you can eradicate the filthy humans from this world." **Morohtar told me.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure, Kakuzawa had already told me this but the way Morohtar said it. So cold and full of hatred, I shivered slightly from shock and fear. This voice, they were a ruthless killer filled with hate. He seemed like my polar opposite, since I had never truly hated anyone.

**"Together, we will rule this pitiful planet and create a place for us and others like us." **he said bribingly.

"No, I won't kill people for that!" I argued, "I can't kill, I'm not a murderer!"

**"Oh but you are, Donovan, you are. You killed your mother without my help. You killed those people at school. I know that deep down you wanted to, otherwise you wouldn't have let me out. You wouldn't have used me to destroy them!" **Morohtar said to me.

I shook my head trying to erase his words, but they continued to echo in my head, swimming about in my thoughts, corrupting them all. It was too much, I couldn't take it anymore, and I screamed and screamed until my lungs were empty and my voice was hoarse.

Suddenly I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body and I curled up in pain.

"Shut up already!" a voice commanded over the intercom.

Eventually, the electricity stopped and I curled up into a ball and fell asleep. I tossed and turned on the ground as I imagined myself killing my mother that fateful day. I still remember the look on her lifeless face. She was smiling and I later discovered she had come to tell me we were going to move to Japan over the summer, which is where I had wanted to live my entire life. I remembered how my father had come into my room, drunk as always and he looked at me with a horrified expression.

"What did you do!?" he yelled at me.

All I could do was cry, knowing that I had just killed my mother and would never hear her voice or see her warm comforting smile. I sat there and cried while my dad began to beat me. He broke his beer bottle over my head after a while and knocked me out. When I awoke later, my dad was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"No, let me go! I'm not the one that killed her! It was that demon of a child in there!" he screamed as the cops hauled him out the doorway.

I don't remember what evidence they used to put my Dad in jail, and quite frankly I don't care. What I do know, is that my life was never good after that. My Aunt never paid any attention to me and I found that she was stealing from the money I received from my parent's life insurance. There wasn't anything I could do and it didn't really bother me since I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways.

**"Such sweet memories for a monster." **Morohtar's voice cut into my dream coldly, **"Oh, don't worry, you'll forget them soon enough. Unless you escape here that is."**


End file.
